“I really feel like I am doing all of the heavy lifting on this friendship”
Expensive Eve 6 Man,
I have been Ok.'s greatest pal for 17 years. We're lengthy distance buddies – she's in Georgia, I am in Lengthy Island. She has come to go to us a number of instances, however our friendship is principally by e-mail, textual content and cellphone. We used to speak each day, however as our lives bought busier and the years handed, it was a couple of instances every week, then as soon as every week.
Our friendship is deep. She is aware of issues about me that nobody else is aware of. For greater than a decade, now we have shared particulars of our lives and people of our youngsters. We have been by breakups collectively. We talked to one another about our respective edges.
We had instances after we drifted aside, however we all the time got here again to one another, each apologizing for not prioritizing our friendship higher. Nicely, Ok. simply went by a foul breakup (they had been engaged and dwelling collectively), and she or he has some well being points. I do know she likes house when she's extraordinarily burdened, so I am giving it to her.
The final time we spoke, she informed me she was going by a tough time and she or he was sorry that she wasn't an excellent pal. I informed her that I'd all the time be there for her when she was emotionally prepared to speak. I did not say something about my very own well being scare or fragile emotional state as a result of I did not wish to burden her with my issues when she clearly had hers.
Two weeks handed and I hadn't heard from her, so I despatched a fast textual content asking if the whole lot was okay. She mentioned she was advantageous and requested me to e-mail her an replace on my well being points and my youngsters. So I did. It was two and a half weeks in the past. I have not heard from her since.
This is not the primary time I really feel like I am doing all of the heavy lifting on this friendship. I have been upset about this earlier than. However that is the primary time she's felt like she's actively ignoring me, and I actually suppose our relationship has turn into a burden on her, simply one other factor on her very complete to-do checklist to examine off when she will.
I do not wish to be that. I might reasonably finish the friendship for good than be kicked out each two weeks by her. However the best way to method it? Do I let her know the way I really feel and add to her emotions of guilt in direction of us, or do I simply let the friendship stagnate?
I really feel too outdated for all this. I believed when you had been older, friendships had been simpler. I don't suppose so. Admire any recommendation you can provide me.
— I really feel like a ghost